2020 Porsche Cayenne CoupeDavid Booth GRAZ, Austria — Enough with the Bah, humbug’, already. Purists started this anti-Cayenne caterwaul back in 2002 when Porsche first made clear its intention to leap into the SUV market; Porsche is 911, was the refrain, and anything that deviates from such Swabian purity was deemed travesty. The naysaying only got more strident when, eight years later, the Panamera made its debut. Awkward was the politest thing most Porschephiles had to say about the company’s first four-door sedan, the purists even more worried that Stuttgart was drifting further away from their 911 rear-engined ideal. And yet, thanks to coffers filled by dilettantes buying badges, the 911 is, if anything, stronger than ever, available in ever more variants with ever more power and even, incredible that such a thing is even possible, even more mind-altering handling. Rather than diminished, the 911 has prospered in this age of less than pure Porsches. And yet the wailing and moaning has begun anew, the Cayenne again this source of ire, only this time it’s the new sporty “Coupe” version for which the aficicandoes are predicting all manner of catastrophe. “Totally pointless” says one commenter; Ugly ruminates another (dozen). It all seems rather futile. For one thing, if Porsche wasn’t willing to backtrack 17 years ago before the Cayenne became a smash success, it sure as shootin’ isn’t going to now that it is. Secondly, the Coupe, although listed as a completely new model, is amazingly close in design to the standard Cayenne, enough so that CNET admonished us to think of it not as a new model but more like a “styling package” in Cayenne’s extensive option range. And thirdly, the thing is quite attractive (certainly more so than BMW’s awkward X6), the rear looking like a melding of original Mercedes CLS roofline with an SUV torso. From a certain profile — rear three-quarters is my favourite — the Cayenne Coupe may be the best-looking Porsche this side of 911. To paraphrase one of the greatest slogans of modern day activism — We’re here. We’re queer (looking). Get used to it! Traditionalists really need to get over themselves. On the technical side, there’s now a choice of three stonking engines for the Coupe; the base 3.0-litre V6, that great honking turbocharged 4.0-litre V8 and a new 2.9L twin-turbocharged V6. The sweetheart of the trio is the 2.9-litre twice-turbocharged V6 in the Cayenne S . Basically the Audi RS5 engine plunked into Porsche’s SUV, its 434 horsepower is good enough to scoot the 2,050-kilogram S to 100 kilometres an hour in five seconds flat. Like the RS’ed Audi, it also sounds the part, its sharp-edged exhaust note pure European sports, uhm, car. There’s more than enough power especially mated to the eight-speed Tiptronic automatic and, more importantly, it’s eager to rev. This is one of the finest drivetrains in the Volkswagen/Audi/Porsche empire and fits perfectly with what I think is the Cayenne Coupe’s sporty intent. Of course, if you want maximum urge, there’s always the Cayenne Turbo Coupe, its 4.0-litre V8 pumping out 542 horses. That’s good enough for a truly impressive 3.9 seconds to 100 klicks and, if you have access to German autobahns or Italian autostradas, 286 km/h. It’s truly a healthy beast. But, to my mind, it sounds too American — at least to my ears — and weighs a seriously hefty 2,200 kilos. As entertaining as all that urge can be, if you can do without the badge, the S is really the way to go. The base 3.0-litre V6, meanwhile, is really mom-mobile motivation. It sports 335 horses and 332 pound-feet of torque, which is more than enough to move the (in this trim, 2040-kilo) Cayenne to the local flea market, but not nearly enough to imbue such a large SUV — especially in supposedly sportier Coupe format — in true Porsche fashion. For all you traditionalists still bristling that Porsche has slid sideways into minivandom, the base version, though sportier than any Caravan, is your one serious argument. As for Porsche’s legendary handling, the new S Coupe holds up its end, especially if equipped with the available Sports package that includes a carbon-fibre roof (reducing weight by a whopping 21 kilograms) and positively gargantuan 22-inch wheels (mounting 315/30ZR22 Pirelli PZeros in the rear and almost as massive 285/35ZR22s in front. The steering is almost sports car-like with a fine balance between steering weight and feel, minimal roll and exemplary turn-in. No, the S Coupe is not a 911, but it feels measurably lighter than its 2,050 kg and tons more agile than BMW’s X6. The top-of-the-line Turbo, meanwhile, feels noticeably heavier, and most of that heft, thanks to the bigger motor, felt in the front. Indeed, on some slippery, rain-soaked Austrian switchbacks, we had a couple of “moments” in the Turbo that were not apparent in the better-balanced S model. Not that the Turbo is bad, but if you’re buying a Cayenne Coupe for traditional Porsche
Origin: First Drive: 2020 Porsche Cayenne Coupe